I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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