just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
