That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
