i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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