It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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