So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
