He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
