Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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