I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
