you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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