how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
