Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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