I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
