Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
