Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
