hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
