Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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