craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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