When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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