You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
