As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
