glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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