Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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