I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
