I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
