i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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