it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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