How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
