We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
