what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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