i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
