im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
