can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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