dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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