I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
