Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
