i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
