I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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