There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he fucked my hip out of place.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
