you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
love makes seman taste better
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
