OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
