Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
