Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
