I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
