I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
