I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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