The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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