Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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