how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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