Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
