why do cheetos always look like penises
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
