it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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