I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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